My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
