I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Randomize
