I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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