There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
