I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize
