The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
