i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
