you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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