I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
