3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize