he wants to bone in the snuggie
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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