god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
