they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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