have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
