haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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