Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
