I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
