I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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