spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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