im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
