in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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