conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
