I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
