We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
