The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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