bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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