lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
