How'd it feel making her break her religion?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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