I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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