my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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