hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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