She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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