She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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