I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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