you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
