Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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