Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
