It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
