I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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