You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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