I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize