There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
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