my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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