and you said cock pushups were impossible
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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