Your tits are I can't wait for
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
