So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
