He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
