i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
