the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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