You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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