...so i touched it.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize