Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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