he wants to bone in the snuggie
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
