Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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