I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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