So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize