I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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