I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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