Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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