it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize