just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
