we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
