ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everclear isn't food dammit
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize