I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
