dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
