Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Randomize
