Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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